There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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