I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
my liver is dry heaving
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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