is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
My balls are so social today.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
