I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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