i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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