Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
