If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
