You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
