I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
