Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
