I must be too annoying 4 u.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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