am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
