totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
