I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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