you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize