dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize