it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize