some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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