Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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