shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
This house was built for laser tag.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Randomize
