VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
