It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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