I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
