Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
