moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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