Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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