Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
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