around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Randomize
