The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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