the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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