I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
My liver just had a heart attack.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
