Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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