What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
