I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize