New invention idea: vibrating tampons
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
