come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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