He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize