The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize