He kissed a someone with a penis
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize