Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
