why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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