So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
