I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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