I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
