If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
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Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
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He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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