Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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