: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
