Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
