honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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