I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
We just shotgunned beers for America
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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