hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
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