and she was petting her beer can
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
