he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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