he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
