i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
