drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
