Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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