Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
