I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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