You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
